Hey, my name is Taylor, I am a certified Personal Trainer with over 8 years’ experience and I have a Bachelor of Physical Health and Education. I am passionate about food and fitness. I love carbs, peanut butter, cats, enjoying nature and any opportunity to move my body. I believe when passion meets purpose, we can persevere through anything! My purpose is to help women gain confidence, and turn off the lies in their head telling them they can’t do something or that they’re not good enough.
My mission is to empower women of all fitness levels to stop overthinking things & move by focusing on strengthening their mindset and growing their confidence starting from the inside.
I have always loved being active and competing. Growing up I played soccer, ringette, basketball, volleyball, and badminton, basketball being my favourite. After high school I went on to play basketball at the University of Winnipeg. I absolutely loved the intensity of every workout, practice, competition, and game. Sports taught me the value of hard-work, discipline, dedication, perseverance, commitment, and mental toughness. I learned my leadership skills from being the captain on most of my sports teams. My motivation was to win, so I always worked hard to achieve what my coaches asked of me in any physical competition. My focus, at that time was more on basketball than my education which led to me taking a few years off school. During the time off I become a personal trainer which I instantly fell completely in love with. Through personal training, I discovered the gratifying feeling of watching others conquer not only their fitness but their life goals!
To get to where I am today I went through my own struggles. I haven’t always had the respect for my body like I do now. I was a classic case of someone who would spend hours at the gym trying to look “fit” attempting to achieve a body and weight I thought would make me happy. I had a negative relationship with food and felt that if I ate something “unhealthy” I needed to spend hours working it off. I feared that if I ate inadequately or missed a day of working out, I would lose my progress, gain weight, become complacent, or lose control of my exercise regime and strict “diet”. I would either reward or punish myself with what I ate based on how hard I worked out during each workout. This led me to counting every calorie I put inside my body, weighing everything I ate, spending hours at the gym, and feeling severely guilty about the said “bad” foods I ate. This unhealthy mental battle of a roller coaster with food continued for approximately 4 years. I found myself thinking about these “bad” foods for weeks after eating them. Keep in mind this is all about perspective, I got to the point where I thought having a carrot was a treat. I was so afraid of not looking “fit” enough that I unravelled even further. I thought I had control over it but it was clear that I didn’t and it became a major issue. I became scared to eat anything and I would restrict myself for long periods of time which led to me overeating due to extreme hunger. What started with restricting and binging eventually led to me forcing myself to get rid of the food when I felt I overate (or “cheated”). I knew at that time I had an eating disorder. I was bulimic. Not only was I always hungry, exhausted, moody, and unable think straight, I was completely malnourished. Food had become an obsession and it had taken over my life. I couldn’t handle the guilt or shame of putting certain foods into my body and when I felt ashamed of what I ate, I would “make up” for it by working out longer, harder, and more frequently. Although it may have looked like I was taking care of my body, I was not. I was placing ample amounts of stress on my body by under-eating, overthinking, overtraining, struggling with an eating disorder and the added guilt that came with it.
At the beginning of 2018 I knew I had a serious problem that would only get worse if I didn’t do something about it. My obsession with looking “fit” and how much I weighed was spiraling out of control. This significantly affected my performance but more importantly it took a huge toll on my body and the perception I had of myself. I remember seeing the number on the scale get lower and lower and the “goal” (without intention) was to get that number as low as I could rather than focusing on what I wanted to accomplish. I was taking my health for granted trying to accomplish something I thought would make me happy but ended up making me miserable. My personal fitness goals and successfully reaching new physical challenges got pushed aside. I was so worried about the approval of others and how “fit” I thought I should look, that I allowed myself to completely disrespect everything my body had to offer. The worst part was how I felt about myself. When I looked in the mirror, I couldn’t find anything I liked about myself. I was supposed to be a role model, teaching other women what to eat and how to successfully reach their fitness goals in a healthy way. I felt like a hypocritical trainer with this huge secret! I thought if anyone found out about this what would they think of me? Why would anyone want to train with me? I could blame several past experiences, people, situation’s and make excuses for why I got to this place, but it was because of me. It wasn’t the food I had to control, it was my relationship with food, fitness, my body and the view I had of it that had to change.
I have always considered myself a hard worker, but after much reflection, I believe hard work happens when no one is watching. I had to redefine health and fitness by shifting my mind and the perspective I had of my body and myself. I had to dig deep and look inside myself, revisit my childhood, my experiences and how I got here. As a kid I was bullied, often called fat and for some reason really wanted these people to like me. I guess we all want to fit in somehow, which can unfortunately lead us to losing ourselves. One day I decided I didn’t want to live like this anymore. I made the choice to change for myself rather than allow this to control me any longer. I chose to climb the mountain. I figured the view from the top must be nicer than the view from the bottom. I had this redefining moment when I realized that being “fit” was not about how I looked but rather about how I felt and how I treat myself. So, the journey to a healthier me began. I spent time asking myself why I thought pleasing others, looking a certain way, and weighing a specific weight would make me “happy”. Through a lot of hard work, self-reflection, mental effort, mindset strategies and techniques, self-discipline, a ton of gratitude and practice, I now know I can do anything I set my mind to! Most importantly, I know God loves me no matter what. I was able to finish what I started by going back to school and I no longer feel the need to please others with the way I look or worry about their opinions. Not everyone is going to like everything about you, but the right ones will love you for who you are, faults included! I worked hard and what I discovered was this… for anyone else looking towards the top of the mountain yes, it gets easier and yes, the view and perspective of yourself is a lot better.
Sports taught me a lot, there was always someone watching me, guiding me, pushing me, and cheering me on, but I found the most strength when all that was up to me. What I went through doesn’t define me but it has helped shape me into who I am today and has given me my life back. Overcoming the mental battle with food, fitness and body image is where I found my value and self-worth. This doesn’t mean I don’t have tough days, struggle, and have insecurities; it means I see myself from a new lens. My confidence is now defined by me rather than the opinion of others. My focus, my perception of myself, the way I view my body and my relationship with food has completely changed for the better. I see food as fuel and I no longer believe in “diets” or restricting. I used to believe I had to work out so I could eat, now I eat with purpose to perform my best and feel good doing it without any guilt! Although I am still competitive, now I compete with myself to become a better me. Since changing my mindset I see movement as a blessing and move because I can, not because I feel like I have to.
I believe true growth happens when you do it for yourself. I hope to teach others the same. I want to create a safe environment where women have a healthy relationship with food, their mind, and body. I want women to gain confidence, move because they can, and to know what they’re going through doesn’t define them either! I want women to believe they can do anything they set their mind to! Finally I want women to recognize that life is way to short so, LET’S EAT THE DAMN BREAD!!!
Together we can grow our mindset, strengthen our body & transform our life!
